Oh, Brother!

How close are siblings suppose to be? I'm the middle of three adult children. We all live in different cities. My little brother and I talk on the phone and text weekly. I've even made the trip from Baltimore to Chicago to visit him and his family. However, my big sister and I barely chat once a year. I feel guilty because I love her, but I don't really like her or enjoy her company. I live a happy life, she does too. So does anything really need to change?

-Middle Child Perplexed

Stefan Says...

I so feel you on this. I’m the youngest of three. I love both my siblings and have their backs 100%. Some of my friends have siblings they’re best friends with, others have ones they would soon deny. Extremes! But I’ll say this: There is no ’supposed to be’ with this. Family relationships just are. You can do the best you can to improve what you’ve got. For instance, since you’ve already visited lil bro in Chicago, make plans to visit big sis where she lives. Since she’s not exactly your bestie, make it a short trip. I say don’t stress yourself out on this one,

My Momma says...

Hello Middle Child. Somethings are too important to just let them go without some effort. It sounds as if you’d like to have a deeper bond with your older sister. I say don’t give up on having the relationship you want, and make a decision to put the work into it that it might take. That means paying more attention to knowing who she is and why; her likes and dislikes and what her experiences have been along the way. While you may want her to show more of an interest in you, try paying more attention to who she is. You might just find a sibling you never knew you had.