They Don't Dig Him

Dear My Momma Says,

I recently met a guy who is totally not a part of my tribe. We are different in many ways, but he has opened up a whole new world for me. Our conversations are electric and so enlightening. We share so many values and outlooks on life. I feel valued in his presence. However, my friends and closes confidants want nothing to do with him, and don't want me to either. They think he dresses different and is weird. They haven’t even taken the time to get know him. How do I convince them that this may be the right guy for me?

Staci, Kansas City, Mo

Stefan Says…

What matters most is your happiness. It seems like this new relationship supports that. Are there more reasons for your friends not liking him? Is he a sex offender? Does he have a violent past? If the way he dresses and acts are the only reasons for your friends not liking him, perhaps something is wrong with your friends. If they can’t recognize how happy he makes you and be supportive of your new relationship, perhaps its not your friends that need convincing.

My momma says…

While this new relationship is exciting, you want to know it can stand the test of time. You shouldn't have to choose one over the other; him over your friends and family, or vice versa. Making such a drastic choice could certainly cause resentment on down the line. I suggest you continue the relationship, including him in as many social gatherings as you can. As your friends and family get to better know your new love their feelings may change. Give it time and see.