Too Late to Apologize?

Eight years ago, my son experienced the death of a child. The baby lived for 23 days in and out of the hospital. I never asked my son how he felt. I did help take care of my granddaughter, his other child during this awful tragedy. I’m not the emotional type and wanted to avoid any awkwardness with my son. However, recently a friend of mine at the university where I teach went through a similar situation. I was moved to see the way staff embraced our colleague who was courageous enough to share what she was going through with a miscarriage. This has prompted me to question how I handled my son’s own tragedy. Inside I have mourned the loss of my grandson. Is it too late to apologize and talk to my son about this loss?

Jasper, Aurora, Co

Stefan Says…

I’m sorry for the loss your family experienced. If you believe there’s an apology you owe - trust your heart and take the ‘risk’ of being vulnerable. Even if your son doesn’t need one, perhaps it will lighten the guilt you may be feeling and bring your relationship even closer.

My Momma Says…

You have nothing to apologize for if your response was honest and genuine. If could be that your son was grateful for what he may have interpreted as a show of support by your caring for his daughter . While no apology is needed, certainly initiating a conversation with your son about his and your loss is always appropriate. Don't be surprised if he responds that he understood your response and felt your love. Our loved ones know us better than we think sometimes.